My thoughts on the past semester, hopes for the coming one, and some musings on the last two weeks ( including: snow, friendship, time capsules, and Islamic extremism)
Tomorrow, we're going on a three-day trip to Eilat, which means the end of the first semester and the beginning of the second. I thought this would be a good time to reflect on the first half of my seminary experience and get ready for the second half of my year.
This semester I...
- strengthened my connection to the state of Israel. Living in Israel makes you feel deeply connected to the land and its people in a way I never felt about America. You learn to appreciate it for all its beauty, all its quirks, and all its downfalls, and you feel yourself falling into it, celebrating in times of joy and mourning in times of tragedy, all together. You find yourself laughing when a plethora of stray cats jumps out at you from behind a garbage can, when a soldier's machine gun smacks you on the face on a crowded street, when an angry old lady screams at you in rapid Hebrew for talking too loudly on the bus, when the Muslim Call to Prayer wakes you up at 4:30AM, and when you get trampled in the Shuk (market) in the pre-shabbat rush. When there is a tragedy or a loss, you feel it as though it were in your own family, when there is a victory, you want to shout it from the mountaintop. When you see soldiers, you can't help but smile-and hope your husband is among them ;) , when an elderly person boards a bus, you're one of five people who offers up your seat to her. You find yourself developing an angry Israeli side, appreciating humus and techina on everything from bread to cake to candy (yes, gummy bear flavored techina is a real thing) and thinking Halva is the best thing ever when you used to hate it. You feel uninhibited to pat the soft hair of any little baby you see, and the parents seem to inexplicably trust you because they recognize that you are one of them, a Jew. You stop caring and worrying quite as much about some of the silly things, and prioritizing more. You find yourself wondering how you can give back to the State of Israel that has given you so much. When there is a terrorist attack, you just want to bake a cake for the family and hand out hot chocolate to the cold soldiers standing guard in the night. You always want to do more, not less, and you think of yourself less, not more. That's not to say that I'm not still me, because I am, but I feel like a better version of myself here. I feel less selfish, materialistic, and vain. I want to be better, I want to help, I want to contribute only good, and I see how much my own happiness, positivity, actions and good qualities can impact others in a way I never did before. I still like shopping, I still want to punch someone if they wake me up from a nap, I still style my hair and I will never embrace the casual attitudes Israelis have toward lice, but I feel good here, and for that, and for every other reason, I love Israel.
- have gotten a lot better at living with people, and learning to be with others while feeling like I have alone time and space. I've learned to be less selfish, be it about the food I buy, sharing everything, and more considerate of the needs and sensitivities of others, even if they're not my own. I've learned to be with people A LOT without feeling like I was suffocating under the weight of constant socializing. I've learned to make it clear to my roommates and friends when I need to be left alone sometimes I allow them to pressure me into talking and hanging out. I've also learned to be with others in total silence, or to lie in bed with Naomi watching TV and feel like we are doing something together without having to do much. I've learned when to ask for more out of my roommates and assert myself and when to just accept that no one is perfect. From living with someone really difficult, I have had a living example of what I don't want to be, and I strive every day not to be like her, while never being mean or unkind to her.
- I've learned to manage my own money and make smart financial decisions for myself. I've learned, and am still learning, when to say "it's not worth it, money doesn't grow on trees" and when to say "live a little!". Living off your own hard-earned money had taught me so much about responsibility, necessity, generosity, and what really makes me happy (shockingly, shopping doesn't really rank, although I still enjoy a good pair of shoes)
- I've learned so much Torah! I sit all day, and basically, I learn, so after 5 months of that, you would expect me to have learned something, and I have! My Talmud skills have improved drastically, and I've learned to be a good Chevruta (learning partner), and how to gain from my partner in turn. I've learned so much Tanach (Bible), and feel I have a very good handle on a lot of material I hardly knew before.
- I've seen the power and importance of documentation-be it in pictures, blog posts, or diary entries, documentation is good for later and for now.
- I realize how much I truly want this-my Jewish identity, Israel, and being a good person. I feel I am living with fewer internal contradictions than ever before, and see myself growing and maturing so much.
Next semester I hope...
- to learn a lot more, in every area of life. That means learning everything from stories of the Torah to different approaches to learning to how to get from Jerusalem to Netanya in under two hours to how to read nutrition facts in Hebrew.
- to read more (and not just quality, but quantity as well)
- to read three news articles a day in Hebrew, and, as always, look up and write down every word I do not know
- to go to many more cool places for Shabbat, and get a chance to see as much of Israel as possible
- to form closer bonds with teachers I respect
- to befriend more girls from the Israeli program-never a bad thing to have more friends
- to spend more time with my Friendship Circle family and try to help them as much as possible (community service)
- to solidify my plans for next year, wherever they may be and whatever I may be doing
These past few weeks have been eventful-between the snowstorm in Israel that gave the country two snow days, a visit from my good friend from home, Rebecca, and a lot of tragic worldwide events, I feel it's a good thing we're going as a school to Eilat, getting out of our routine and out of Jerusalem. News of the recent events have broken our hearts and really highlighted the importance of the State of Israel, the unity of the Jewish people, and of everyone around the world recognizing the dangers of Islamic extremism. It's not just a Jewish problem or a Western problem-it is one of the biggest, if not the biggest, threat to our world right now. I hope we're at the point where, as a worldwide community, we can decide we are tired of this shit.
Right now, I'm writing this with prayers for peace around the world, gratitude for a fantastic first semester here and for my many blessings I have had that have led my to this place in my life. The fact that I am here in Israel at all is no simple thing-I owe it to my parents, my community, and basically everyone who has ever given to the state of Israel and kept it going. Scroll down to see some pictures of the last two weeks, and stay tuned for a post about the coming week full of adventures! Rebecca
